Life’s too short to fight with a lame shredder

I guess there must have been a time when we all lived simpler lives and didn’t care a whit about who was grubbing through our trash. Honestly, as I am shredding the week’s load of pre approved credit card offers and the like, I imagine I could just be bold and tear them all in half and toss them, unshredded (gasp!).

But anyone who is packing serious scanning hardware should also be packing serious shredding hardware. It may not matter if another Capital One offer slips into the trash intact, but there’s no way I’m going to dispose of old tax records or medical records without rendering them completely useless to the enemy.

Here is my own short list of things to look for when you are buying a new shredder.

A Serious Tool for a Serious Job

There are lots of sites out there that have buying recommendations for shredders, and once you wade through all of the commercial spam sites and get to some good articles, they offer pretty even coverage of the different features to look for. This is where my own opinion differs from theirs.

Don’t waste your time with some namby-pamby little shredder that sits on your desk and shreds three thin sheets of rice paper at a time. If you are serious about reclaiming your home from paper, you need something that can wolf down loads of documents, paperclips and all.

This is my most firm recommendation: go for the most solid machine you can afford. Otherwise you will be buying a new one next year.

I don’t know about you, but I have been through three of the darned things. I tried the relatively cheap one and killed it within six months by overheating it. I then bought a heavy duty model that served five very good years before expiring with some mysterious illness. My current one is a somewhat smaller model, selected specifically for its reduced size by my wife.

Good Capacity

Make sure that your shredder is rated at a minimum of 12 sheets at a time. This way, you can insert just about any stapled document and be confident that it is not going to choke the machine.

See if the device can eat both credit cards and CDs. Both of these features are pleasing to have.

Don’t bother with those silly things that have narrow slots that require you to fold the paper like a letter before insertion. Do you really want to have to fold five hundred sheets of paper like that?

Solid Construction

This is a fairly subjective assessment. Look at several of the machines and see which one is built better. Chances are that the el cheapo version will have plastic gearing and other brittle parts. If you can look inside (often from the underside) look at the gears to make sure they are metal.

Emptying the Basket

Imagine yourself emptying the basket. You will be doing this dozens of times.

Many machines have a built-in trash can that flips out from the front, leaving the rest of the machine standing. I like this feature and look for it. You should try removing and replacing the basket a few times to see if it is a fiddly task and if there are little cheap plastic tabs that are going to snap off after two weeks.

One kind of shredder sits on top of its basket—you must lift it off the basket entirely in order to empty the waste. Pick it up a few times. Do you mind lifting the weight? I know that my wife didn’t want to have to lift the shredder every time she emptied it, so we skipped past this style.

Another point to consider is whether those special shredder bags will fit in the basket of your machine. As far as I know, all shredders have some sort of mechanical interlock between the machine and the basket that shuts off the device if it is not on the basket. This is usually achieved by some little tab on the basket that slides in some slot, closing a switch. If you use a shredder bag, make sure you can do so without interfering with this safety mechanism.

Basket Size

A small amount of paper becomes a large volume of confetti. If you don’t mind having a larger unit taking up space in the corner, then go for the one with the bigger basket. Trust me, you are going to be lazy and let it get filled up anyway—why not at least have a longer delay before you are forced to empty it?

Consider a tall basket rather than a short basket. Once the top of the confetti reaches the underside of the shredder mechanism, it is possible for the blades to draw in the already shredded paper and come to a grinding standstill that may not be easy to recover from.

Strip vs. Crosscut

I don’t know just how much to worry about this one. Everyone says to get a crosscut shredder, so that it tears your paper into little tiny diamonds, but they still are manufacturing strip shredders. The fact of the matter is, strip shredders can handle a heavier load since they aren’t chopping the paper to little tiny bits.

Once the paper is shredded into skinny strips, I’m pretty happy with it. Unless you are some high profile person with valuable secrets, why get worked up about it? Do you really think that someone is going to piece together all of those little strips and read about your colonoscopy three years ago?

I’m not saying that it doesn’t matter at all; if you want the added security of crosscut, then go for it. I’m saying that this can be a lower priority than some of the other criteria. Don’t automatically rule out a solid performer because it is a strip shredder.

Other Features

They all come with various other nifty features such as automatically detecting inserted sheets and automatic reversal when there is a jam. One nice feature is an automatic cutoff when the unit has worked too hard. I think all of them do this, but some do it ungracefully by dying forever, while others tout a graceful cutoff.

Think Before You Shred

You don’t get a second chance. Make sure whatever you shred has been electronically captured and backed up. Is there an electronic copy safely in two places?

If you do not have an electronic copy, then make absolutely certain that you intend to destroy the document forever—this is exactly what you are doing.

Summary

I believe in buying the best tools I can afford for the job, and this holds especially true for shredders. It is a serious machine that has migrated from government/military circles, to offices, and finally to the home. Pick a solid performer that can chew through whatever you throw at it.

A final thought: Don’t buy one sight unseen. These devices must be handled in person to be truly appreciated!